Mum Thinking: Widows Don’t Wear Black

Widow's Don't Wear Black A very special MoT, who is extremely close to our hearts, has had her life transformed forever by the death of her husband after a short illness.  We think of her everyday and watch her from a distance hoping that if she falls we can run and catch her.

We admire her hugely as she battles with the combination of the overwhelming, all consuming grief of losing a gorgeous husband who “made his family his cosmos” and at the same time discovers life as a suddenly single mum of her young daughter.

Because we know she will read this we also wish she would try and eat something.

We’re constantly thinking of ways we can make her life easier or finding people we hope can help her out but sometimes there is literally nothing you can do.  There aren’t too many online groups, guides or blogs that support or document the life of young widows.

As is often the way, sometimes the person whose life you are trying to make that tiny bit more bearable, turns around and offers you the very thing you have been looking for.  And so, for any other MoTs out there who might be faced with a similarly unexpected and overwhelming loss of their partner, we offer you her latest go to blog – Widow’s Don’t Wear Black.

The blog is written by Nicola Campbell who became a widow at 36 on February 25th, 2012.  She describes her blog as her “place to vent my frustrations at the jobsworths who don’t get it, wallow when I need to and discover a new future because the unthinkable did happen and my husband died suddenly at 38 leaving me and our two little babies under the age of two behind”.

Her writing is funny and sad and angry and clever and so very very honest that it makes your heart break.

I know that our MoT will want me to point out the article on Widow’s Tourettes which she tells us is just “so true” and we know makes her giggle just a little bit for its’ honesty.  We also want to include this piece on Invaluable advice for friends of a widow/widower – it is a bloody good guide for any other MoTs out there that might be stumbling along trying to support a friend in need and need to get their feet out of their mouths.

Much love to you all.

 

2 Comments on "Mum Thinking: Widows Don’t Wear Black"

  1. Astrid Griffin says:

    What a lovely, kind and compassionate article – please, if you are able to, pass on my deepest sympathy, love and condolences to this dear woman and her wee girl who are going through such a horrible time – I can only but imagine how horrendous this must be knowing how much my husband means to me and to our adult children so I just want her to know that we are keeping her in our thoughts and in our hearts and sending her messages of love and strength to move forward.

  2. Gina says:

    From my experience, supportive and loving friends are an enormous help for those of us unlucky enough to have to go through this experience. Talking to others in the same situation can also be something that helps – many Kiwi widows and widowers have shared their story and support with each other on the discussion board at http://www.kiwiwidow.co.nz. Your friend may in time find that community helpful as well.

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